A dumb Touhou crossover fanfic by yours truly~

[kokoroandherkokoro]

Well I started a Touhoustuck story. Starring the cast of Subterrean Animism of course! Becuase those precious babies don't get enough popularity (Yamame and Kisume especially). Of course, it's multi-chapter but chapter updates will be slow since school works me like a pack-mule. what am I doing, I'm pretty sure I'm the only touhoustucker here

Anyway first chapter start!

---

A young girl stands in the middle of a cave. She seems to be looking for something as her eyes darted around the walls for any sort of clue. Finally she sees some sort of shiny glare in the wall and runs towards it, taking a pick-ax from the side of her pocket. She starts to pick at the hole and the earth around it until it reveals a lunchbox carefully placed in a hole. The used to be vibrant colors of it are now while it's caked with dirt and rock, making the images on it quite hard to see. Her eyes lit up with joy.

“I found it! This will be perfect for the special day!” She says in a cheerful voice. She tucks under her arm and walks out of the cave, the bright sun rays hitting her in the face,causing her to squint while a breeze makes some of her hair flow in the wind

Who is this girl? This girl is you of course! And your name is Yamame Kurodani.

Why is the day so special? Well we'll get to that later.

“Hmm....I think this is a good time to use my zip-line!”

Ah yes that zip-line. You made way back whenever you wanted a quicker, fun, way to get to your house other than walking,especially whenever you were going on your spelunking adventures with the various caves and mountains here.

You grab onto the rope, attaching your harness tightly and making sure the engine was working while your teeth firmly held onto the luchbox. Dirt didn't make to you nor was it more important than safety precautions!

Once everything was all ready, you go back at a bit. Running starts are good? Yes.

“3....2....1...Bonzai!” You yell out as your feet run at a fast pace and then leap off of the cave's ledge. You hug the lunchbox as the last thing you needed was it to fall into one of the locations of this wooden area.

You've lived around here all your life. You think you had parents but never knew what happened to them but you never needed them. You go by with what you have and what you build. You were always good at construction and things like that. Not to mention, you love to cave explore! It was a nice,relaxing thing to do.

You jump out of your thoughts to see your detestation, the window to your house, coming closer by the second. As the zip-line entered through the window, you detach yourself from the reins, sliding across the floor stopping at the mirror while the zip-line continued onward through.

It'll go to the recharge spot probably The thought going through your head as you watch it go on. You then turn around, facing the mirror to get a good look of yourself. Your long blonde hair was tied up in a messy ponytail to keep it out of the way, your usual outfit was the brown hoodie and pants with yellow ribbons sewed onto it. You always kept it open in order to show your awesome black shirt with the white spider on it, a kooky grin on it's face. One of your good friends Satori made your entire outfit, you always admired her sewing skills and such.

Speaking of friends, a loud ping rang around the room. Someone was pestering you alright. After construction and cave-exploring, the computer was one of your favorite things. You use it to get tools and materials, not to mention communicating with your friends. You jump and land into the chair and pull up Pesterchum, checking on who was pestering you. Hmm.... fallingBucket. That's Kisume! Kisume is one of your best friends despite living so apart from each other.

--- SicklySpider [SS] began pestering fallingBucket [FB] ---

FB: hey Yamame.
SS: Hiya kisume!!!!!!!! * smiles *
FB: guess you're still with the spider thing aren't you?
SS: *claps hands together* Yep! Anyway today's the day!
FB: yeah... today's the day that all of us played that brand new game...
SS: * nods* Yeah! We're going to play Sburb! It sounds really awesome,Kisume! The eight of us playing a game together!
FB: yeah... um Yamame... c-can I tell you something?
SS: Yeah! You can tell me anything!
FB: well...i'm scared of playing the game. Didn't you hear the rumors? They say that the game is somewhat destructive. Maybe the game does something to our computers or even the area or ourselves...
SS: * pats your head* Don't worry! It's just a game! We'll be fine!
FB: I... If you say so Yamame.... anyway we should go over the cycle of the game. Apparently we have client and server cycles
SS: Right! I'm Parsee's server while you're my server!
FB: yeah... so with the cycle in place then all eight of us will be playing smoothly...
SS: You said eight... * giggles*
FB: haha! Anyway did you get your discs?
SS: * nods* Yep! I got them and they're right beside me on my desk! I also got my lunchbox that I hid way back. I thought it would be good to use in this game for luck.
FB: alright then! We should get started then. I'm thinking we should start right now so I'll pop in my disc along with yours. Alright?
SS: Yeah! Then we'll talk some more later! Bye kisume! * waves*
FB: bye Yamame.

FallingBucket [FB] ceased pestering SicklySpider [SS]

Kisume can be so anxious sometimes. A game destroying the world? As much as your imagination would want to believe it, it's simply not possible for that to happen. You decide that you should put the client disc already and not keep your friend waiting. The disc starts to load and you can felt the excitement building in your chest. Not only is it your first time playing a game like this but with the loading screen, it has to be a good game.

Man this music is pretty snazzy. Maybe you can download it on your computer or something, it would be great construction music! You snap out of your thoughts as the words Sburb appear on your screen, indicating that the game is fully ready! Oh yeah you need to go talk to Kisume!

SicklySpider [SS] began pestering FallingBucker [FB]

SS: The game's loaded kisume!
FB: yep! I can see you on my screen...
SS: * eyes go wide* Really?

You deiced to test it out by waving your hand as a greeting, hoping she would get it.

FB: yep I can see you waving...
SS: Wow! That's really cool!!!!!!!
FB: It is. Apparently the server can see the client. Now we have to get you prep for the game.
SS: Prep time!
FB: please don't fall Yamame...also you need to pester Parsee at some time as well so you guys can get started. The faster, the better.
SS: Right! I guess we should start our go right now too!
FB: yep. Enough pestering for now



--- Kisume ----

You stop being Yamame to be this green haired girl with the pigtails, otherwise known as Kisume. You are Yamame's server player and are currently trying to find a good place to deploy all of the stuff needed for the game. While you are happy that you and your friends are playing the game, you can't help but shake the feeling something is wrong with this game. The first indication is how real the game is and the rumors that have been circulating about it.

You shake your head. Enough of this! Yamame hates it when you get really anixious like this, not to mention she needs you!

Her house is actually pretty impressive; it's like one of those elaborate tree houses you would see in kids movies.. just on land and with a lot of strings around, coming out of different rooms and windows and stuff.

You click on the Alchemiter and put it on one of the balconies. First thing first is that thing.

FB: Yamame! I...got the Alchemiter on your house. It's on one of your houses.
SS: Hm? Which one?
FB: I'll check inside the room to see...

You zoom inside the room and it seems like a normal room, scattered with different types of food,cages, and toys. This must some sort of pet room then! Yamame did like to take care of animals even she was pretty terrible at it. You keep looking around in the room, poking at all of the toys when you heard something tapping on a glass.

“Hm? What's that?”

Your curiosity beats you as you turn the view to see and NO. Inside of that cage is a beast that you have struggled with for years, Inside is there is a beast the size of a bread loaf that you have battled with and hid so you would escape it's grasp. Inside of that cage is Yamame's fucking pet spider, the thing she calls adorable.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY.
You reel your face in disgust. You hate spiders! Well not Yamame but god you have such a huge fear of them! Ever since that stupid video game about mutant flesh-eating spiders at the game place, you can not go within 100, maybe even more, feet to them.

You whine gibberish and take deep breaths in order to calm yourself down. Why does she even have a spider that huge? ! It looks like it could break the cage at any second! The spider keeps tapping on the glass and you quickly zoom back out. There is no way you're interacting with that beast.

FB: okay. I put the Alchemiter on the balcony with the room full of pets.
SS: Ah! You must mean The Pet Room!
FB: yep. But, um, Yamame...
SS: Yes?
FB: what's with the s-s-s-spider in the cage?
SS: Oh you mean snotball!
FB: Snotball? Why? Wait never mind on that. I'm deploying the Cruxtruder in your room now.

You forgot that Yamame names her pets after diseases and symptoms of diseases. You never really understood why she liked diseases so much then again you and your friends have a lot of weird interests which why you guys are so hated by others. You guys never really fitted society. The Cruxtruder lands in the middle of the room with a thud while Yamame looked at in interest.

SS: Oooooh~.... what's that?
FB: it's called the Cruxtruder. I don't really know what it does though. It seems like it needs to be opened by something though... something heavy.
SS: I have an idea!

You watch on your screen Yamame opening one of her doors in her room, revealing a large amount of lumber. Did she really have all of this wood to use for her own desires? Wait. She lives in a forest area, of course she does. You use your cursor to grab a pack of lumber, it tying a heavy load of wood and drop it on top of the cruxtruder.

As soon as you did that, the lumber was flung right off of the machine and ends up tumbling back into the door, the wood now scattered across the floor. Yamame looks up at the screen rather dumbfounded, sharing the same face as you. Was that supposed to happen or something like that?

Just then a bright yellow sphere hovered out of the machine and Yamame started to turn the wheel on it.

FB: why are you turning the wheel?
SS: Because! Wheels are made for turning! Do you have any idea what the circle thingy does?
FB: it's a sphere Yamame, and no, maybe you need to put something in it.

--- [Yamame] ---

You switch over to being Yamame again. Just a few mintues ago, Kisume threw lumber on this machine called the Cruxtruder and it flung right off, causing your room to be more messier than before. No worries though, you can deal with it besides you have to keep turning this wheel at the moment.

After it was done turning, a fat yellow cylinder-like object came out of it. As you are curious about that thing, you start with height. You grab your measuring tape and start to measure it and it's about 3'1”. Judging by it's size, you expected it to be heavy but no it was as light as a feather! Holy cow was this game weird! As you carry it, you noticed something. On the side of the Cruxtruder was a timer. The clock saying 8:08 and going down.

Maybe Kisume knows about it. You take the cylinder object to your computer and starts to type.

SS: Hey kisume! What's with this timer?
FB: timer?
SS: Yeah! It's starting from 8 mintues and 8 secs. Since you can see me maybe you can try zooming out or something.
FB: huh? I'll do that....wait...Oh no.
SS: What?
FB: I... I was...YAMAME DON'T PANIC
SS: Huh? What's going on Kisume?! (0_0)
FB: JUST CALM DOWN LIKE ME. I'LL GET THE REST OF THE STUFF OUT NOW. QUICKLY WHERE'S ANOTHER PLACE THAT I CAN PUT THE STUFF IN.
SS: Um...Aha! The main house! It's down the stairs.
FB: TAKE THE YELLOW THING WITH YOU.
SS: Okay! Okay!

You quickly grabbed your computer and yellow cylinder and hurry down the stairs into the main house. Your house is actually pretty elegant, multiple houses and all connected by bridges and stairs and such, you could've swore as you were going down, the sky was turning a hue of red-orange. Was it sunset already?

--- [Kisume] ---

You suddenly become Kisume again who is at the moment freaking out. You were right from the fucking start, this game is twisted. Countdowns means something is going to happen and with the sky turning colors, it was not good. You can only pray that your other friends will get in on time.

The screen shows Yamame in her main house which is oddly more modern than the others but there's no time to describe it, you have to save her before something bad happens. You place the Totem Lathe and your hands fidgeting as you do it. You're more high-strung than you usually are and who the fuck wouldn't be?!

You quickly grab a card from the inventory and drop it on the ground.

FB: Yamame, put the card in the slot of the Totem Lathe.
SS: You mean this large thing over here?
FB: Exactly. Now hurry!

Yamame does what you say and the cylinder is being carved, which we should really be called a totem right? You then check back in her room on the timer. 2: 02.

You now have advanced from freaking out to full on screaming. You guys need to hurry!

FB: YAMAMMMEEEE! IS THE TOTEM DONE?
SS: Yes! It's all done!
FB: GOOD. NOW HURRY TO THE PET ROOM OR WHATEVER
SS: Okay! Okay! Calm down Kisume!

--- [Yamame]---

You hurriedly become Yamame again. With the totem and your laptop in your syalladex, you run up the stairs back to your room and when you do, you catch a glimpse of what Kisume is freaking out about. Was.... Was that a meteor heading towards you?

You fly into your room and crack open one of the windows that's near the Pet Room. The thing about you is you're rather smart about finding new ways to get around and make life easy, and/or, rather anxious about safety. You have a ton of windows in your room. As you stare across, you swore under your breath. You didn't finish the bridge you jackass! Whatever! Kisume's counting on you!

Walking across the unfinished bridge is pretty easy to someone like you. Yes, walking across a long, narrow pole is dangerous and unsafe but there's guns and people seem to have an abundance of those right? You get to the other side, put the totem on the Alchemiter. A laser comes down and scans the thing, turning it into a small yellow bear?

0:05

You grabbed the bear. What the hell are you supposed to do with this?! But it is cute.. like one of those gummy bears.

0:04

Wait.... are we supposed to kill it or something? You can't do that! You swore never to kill or destroy things without good reason! Mindlessly doing stuff is idiotic.

0:03

The meteor heads even closer to you. Sweat staring to drip from your forehead, Maybe this is why Kisume was worried about playing. She was worried because the world's going to end... over a game out of all things.

0:02

You then shake your head; you know what you have to do. You gripped on the bear hard and yanked it's head off with your teeth. This is to help your friends, the faster you get into the game, the faster they can. You're not going to hold them back.

0:01

The meteor is super close to you now literally inches away. You cover your eyes,pretty poorly with you hands, and expect the worse when suddenly a big flash happens and then Yamame's not on Earth anymore. There's only a crater in her place.

0:00

--- [Kisume] ---
You let a sigh of relief as your body calms down. She's safe. You know Yamame's safe, that flash had to save her. You then start to dance around your room. Uhuh, That's right. With your skills you saved your friend from being burnt to a crisp! Just then you hear a crash downstairs. You quickly scurried down to the location and NO. NOT THIS. NOT NOW. NOT THEM.

---

Oooh cliffhanger */shot. So what do you think about it? owo

[kokoroandherkokoro]

Chapter 2 is up! It took some time but I managed to finish it! Also Ira belongs to RumiFlan on DA! Chapter start!

---

“Are you serious right now?”

You are not Yamame or Kisume now but another girl who is currently staring out of her window. She sighs as she runs her hand through her short,wavy, blonde hair. I guess you should be introduce to this girl since you are being her. You are Parsee Mizuhashi and currently you are quite annoyed by the weather.

Actually you're annoyed almost every day by something despite being a normal girl. Hell, you even dress normally: white dress shirt, tan vest, blue skirt, brown loafers. Yep normal. Others believe that you are just an annoyance, all because you hang out with the weirdos. Plus the one other incident but that’s another story.

You continue to stare outside, laptop by your feet. It seemed way too early for the sky to be red-orange yet it’s the afternoon. Isn’t that color that should appear during the evening?

A loud ping catches your attention and you face towards the screen; it seems that Yamame wants to pester and get this game started. FINALLY

jealousBeauty [JB] started pestering sicklySpider [SS]

JB: So are we going to get this dumb game started or what?
SS: Calm down parsee! You don’t need be so huffy about it.
JB: Well i never really wanted to play this in the first place. you guys kept going on about how awesome it would be to play it.
SS: Yep! I wonder where you’ll end up at.
JB: Huh? What do you mean by that?
SS: It’s a surprise!
JB: I. HATE. SURPRISES. >:c
SS: Calm down parsee! Sheesh, you’re always so upset all the time. Are you still sad about what happened?
JB: ..... Next. Topic.
SS: *sighs* Fine. But I pestered you because I wanted to tell you that I’m your server for your game.
JB: And I’m with Yuugi.
SS: Of course! Like we talked about! You and your sister should put in the client disc now... and cheer up a little! Will you?
JB: -_- I’ll put the disc in, but for the second one I shall not make any promises.

jealousBeauty [JB] stopped pestering with sicklySpider.

You put the disc inside of your laptop, take your purple throw pillow and scream into it with all of your might. Those stupid problems in the past are coming up again! They’re in the past for a reason! And they were so close to being brought up, all thanks to Yamame! She needs to be sprayed with some Raid or some sort of spider-killing thing.

While the game loads and you’re in the world of screaming, the door opens.

“Parsee! I heard ya screaming in here again! Is something wrong with you again”

You let out a sigh before taking the pillow off your face. “No Ira, nothing is wrong with me. Just letting out emotions”

Ira’s your older sister (by only a few mintues) and is a striking contrast to you; well in personality and looks at least. Ira’s flaming red hair, somewhat energetic personality, and explosive anger is nothing like your sandy blonde hair, harsh jealousy and anger, and overly normal human personality.

She shrugs her shoulders. “If you say so, Parsee” Her eyes moved to your laptop. “Hey,what’s with the loading screen?”

“Its the game Ira,the one I was talking about. I’m playing it with my friends so we can get in faster.” You answer.

Her eyebrow becomes raised in interest. “Really? You’re playing the game with us?”

Internally screaming at having to repeat your answer, you open your mouth. “Ira, I’m playing a game with friends. That’s the main gist of—” You couldn’t finish your sentence as your sister proceeded to put you in a tight hug.

“I’m so proud of you Parsee! My little ball of Gloom and Doom is finally out of her shell and playing with others again! Maybe you’ll cheer up fully and smile again!” She squeals happily.

You flail your arms endlessly as your sister continues with her death hug. Sure, you absolutely love your sister and wouldn’t trade her for anything... however you could do without her inhuman strength sometimes.

Your ears notify you of the end of the game’s loading and the famailar ping of Pesterchum.

sicklySpider [SS] began pestering jealousBeauty [JB]

SS: Parsee! The game is all loaded! Oh, hi Ira! It’s me Yamame.

“Oh hey Yamame.” Ira calmly replies before noticing something. “Wait. You live nowhere near us; how can you see us?”

SS: It is the game! I can see the inside of all of your house! Its pretty cool, I wonder how it does that.

“That sounds pretty interesting. Maybe its some fancy technology or something.”

You growl a bit as you type.

JB: CAN WE JUST START THE STUPID GAME ALREADY?! >:0
SS:
SS: Geez Parsee, you’re so tense! But yes! Let us start!

---[Yamame]---

You now, the spider girl that Parsee hates, Yamame. Where you are is currently unknown as there’s nothing but your house and the black sky. That doesn’t really matter to you yet it intrigues you a lot.

Whatever, you have to get Parsee into the game like Kisume did with you.... and fast, judging by what happened with your entering.

You start by deploying the Alchemiter on the back porch of Parsee’s house. Man, Parsee’s house is way different than yours. For starters, it’s normal-looking; it’s a two-story house painted in a rather dull yellow outside.

Reminds me of that show about the mannequins Kisume showed me one time.

SS: Alchemiter’s on your back porch Parsee!
JB: Hm? Alchemiter? What is that?
SS: Kisume told me that it’s a thing we’ll need later on after the Cruxtruder is deployed an—Hey! Stop messing around with that! Hold on, Parsee. I have some things to do!
JB: Cruxtruder? Things to do? Yamame, are you being stupid on purpose!
JB: >:C

As said before you, Yamame, have things to done. If that thing could be slaying imps and trying to get a hold of Kisume. You run towards one of the imps, pick-ax in hand. These guys have been messing around with your stuff plus making the whole house a mess than it was before! And now this one is pushing your prized figure of Indiana Jones off the edge!

With a jump and gratuitous amount of screaming, you slam the sharp end of the pick-ax into the imp’s head causing it to burst into grist and shale. You’ve been picking these up as you battle these imp creatures and destroy. Good thing you keep your tools near your reach.

You grabbed the figure. That way no imp will break it. You cathpolugue the figure with your Tool box Modus. The figure goes into the wrech-shaped card and into the toolbox with ease. Next thing, you have to communicate with Kisume and—OH SHIT. THE LAPTOP.

You forgot that those imps are everywhere, absolutely everywhere. You run back to your laptop, thankfully no imps have touched it at all. You then go onto the idle Pesterchum window and start typing.

sicklySpider [SS] began pestering fallingBucket [FB]

SS: Yo Kisume! Are you there?
SS: I sorta wanted to know since I’m stuck in this weird place, that is literally nothing. Well, not really since there’s that yellow thing in the sky.
SS: Plus I checked on a FAQ of the game and it says that we can alchemize stuff! But we need the device known as the Punch Designx and as much as I would want to build things, alchemizing is much faster.
SS: Also that would help make new weapons since there’s these imps everywhere; I mean one of them nearly broke that Indiana Jones statue you got me!
SS: Did I say the name of the guy right?
SS: Kisume?
SS: K-I-S-U-M-E!
SS: *sighs* Where are you Kisume?!

---[Kisume]---

You are now Kisume.

WHACK!

You are now Kisume on the floor after getting hit in the face. Why are you getting hit in the face? Bullies, that’s what.

“Ha! Like always you’re weak bucket girl! You’re already bleeding”

You groan under your breath; shit, did your nose break? Anyway, let’s move on to these bullies or how Parsee calls them, some of the many reasons that humanity is the stupidest fucking species in existence. These two girls are your classmates, Miyu Koyama and Seiko Nakamoto. They’re the bullies that mess with you the most; You’re so shy and quiet so that means you’re easy pickings for bullies. At first, the bullying started small with insults and snide remarks and then escalated to rumors and violence. You want it to stop but... you’re so small and quiet. They wouldn’t give a crap about your opinion. So you’ve been stuck in this cycle of bullying, never able to become free like wind.

They come closer and you scoot back a bit, your body shaking with fear.

“W-W-Why are you guys even here? This is my house!” You yell out, your voice shaky.

Miyu chuckles devilish, her brown curls bouncing. “Well greenie, it doesn’t matter if you live in a house or not. Your residence is still the street as trash. And why were here? Seiko, show her what we came for.”

A sly smirk came onto Seiko’s lips as she held a disc in her hands, the case still on. You didn’t need to look twice to know what she had. She had the client disc—YOUR client disc—in her hands. You silently curse yourself for not taking the disc when you were serving Yamame. How stupid could you be?

“But why? Why do you even want my dics?!”

“You want to know why, green bean? Because we wanted this game in the first place!” Seiko replied.

“This game is one of the most popular games out here, little green bean. Not to mention the rumors about it. We tried getting the game that we so rightfully deserved but we failed. And to hear you and your freak pack of friends talking about playing it at school was like a slap to the face! To think you guys would get the game over us!” Miyu yelled out in anger.

“But that was dumb luck that we got the game! We were actually surprised that we got the game in the first place!” You explain.

Miyu gives you a face of disgust as if she didn’t believe you. “Join the club.” She then turned on her heel and paced. “So we decided to pick who would be the lucky person to give us the discs. Spider weirdo is too far, and the Psyco sisters are too much work; so is Drunko with her monster strength. Booknerds along with Roadkill and Birb Brain were too tactical so that leaves....” She stops and points at you.”You, Kisume. We’re going to take your discs of the game we deserved and take you out of the picture for good.”


Your mouth goes dry at that last sentence, any words caught in your throat. They were going to take your discs and kill you.

“Holy crap, what a pair of bitches you are”

Oh fuck. You didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Seiko replies by charging at you and kicks you in the stomach, causing you to skid across the floor and stop at the couch. You groan as you hold your stomach.

“Quiet you! Just submit and it’ll all be easy”

---[Yamame]--

You are now Yamame again who is patiently waiting for Kisume to respond back to your messages all while slaying imps with your tools which is the only thing you can do, seeing as you’re still in this bleak world. After collecting more of the grist the imps leaked out, a familiar ping came onto your computer. Finally Kisume was answering you!

fallingBucket [FB] started pestering sicklySpider [SS]

SS: Kisume! I’ve been trying to answer you all this time!
FB: As much as I would want to claim the identity of Kisume, I am not Yamame.
SS: Wait, you’re Kisumebot right?
FB: Exactly.

You remembered when Kisume got a gift from her traveling parents which is why she has such fancy objects in her house! Anyway, the gift was a robot that looked exactly like her that would be of assistance if she was in trouble.

SS: Wait! if you’re here Kisumebot, then where’s Kisume?
FB: Kisume is in trouble at the moment, some unwanted guests have came into her home and are trying to elimate her.
SS: WHAT?!
SS: :0!!!!!!!!
FB: Yes it is rather terrible but as the servant of her, I shall assit you with the game as she solves this issue Yamame, please do not worry. She will be fine.
SS: Well...alright. i should get back to Parsee and Ira then! gotta hurry before the meteors come and destroy them like they almost did with me!
FB: That is a logical plan and while you do that, I shall assist you with getting from this rather bleak dimension.

fallingBucket [FB] ceased pestering sicklySpider [SS]

---[Ira]---
You are now Ira Mizuhashi, Parsee’s sister and a player of this game. Unlike your sister O, you’re pretty excited for this game on the outside but you wonder if this game is holding something. I mean the sky change to an evening-like sky a short while ago. The Earth likes to pull weird things out of it’s ass, doesn’t it?

You look out of the window and see some sort of machine in your back porch. It looks like one of those hologram-looking objects Kisume often reads in her comics and such. This means that it must be that Alchemiter Yamame told Parsee over Pesterchum. Speaking of, you should talk to Yamame and see if she’s going to come back to helping you two. Good thing you have your PDA with you.

ragingDragon [RD] started pestering sicklySpider [SS]

RD: Yo Yamame!
SS: Hi Ira! sorry about leaving you and Parsee in the dust all of a sudden! I had to do some things....
RD: Things? Like what?
SS: Well....the game first and then Kisume is in a bit of trouble. Some uninvited guests came into her house and they’re trying to kill her!
RD: Yamame...Please repeat that sentence.
SS: Well, Kisume had some uninvited guests in her house which means a break-in. you don’t it’s those bullies that always mess with us? right Ira?
SS: Ira?
SS: Wait Ira! don’t puch the wall!

A warning a little too late Yamame. Your fist is always in the wall, causing a huge hole to be made. You couldn’t believe it! Oh scratch that, you could totally believe those two would be the cause of this. They’re just as shallow and idiotic like your ex! You regret not beating into the ground when you had the chance!

You take some deep breaths in order to calm yourself down. Your anger is going to get the best of you one day, at least that’s what everyone tells you. Besides game first, anger second. You go back to your PDA.

RD: Sorry about that Yamame. I just needed to calm myself down.
SS: Do you want to scream, Ira? I mean by the time you finish, the cruxtruder should be deployed.
RD: Alright then...I CAN’T BELIEVE THOSE TWO! THEY’RE SO IDIOTIC, ACTING ALL SMUG LIKE THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE GODAMN WORD WHEN THEY DESERVE CRAP! AND THEN THEY BREAK INTO KISUME’S HOUSE AND ARE TRYING TO KILL HER? FOR FUCKING WHAT? OUT OF ALL OF US, KISUME IS MOST INNOCENT AN- OH FUCK IS THAT WHY THEY WENT AFTER HER? NO, NO, NO. I JUST-ARGH!

“Ira, what’s with you? You’re ranting again.” Parsee asks flatly. You take a deep breath and turn to her. “You know those bullies that always mess with us? They broke into Kisume’s house and are trying to kill her?”

“Really now? Wow. I totally did not expect that.” Parsee replies, a hint of sarcasm. You could do without your sister’s grumpiness at the moment though you know she cares about Kisume’s health.

RD: Well......I just hope that Kisume gets out of that situation.
SS: Yeah! And the Cruxtruder is deployed!
RD: Cruxtruder?
SS: Turn around Ira.

You turn to see a large machine in the middle of Parsee’s room; that must be it.

---[Parsee]---

You suddenly switch from Ira to Parsee and what is THIS machine now? Yamame still hasn’t cleared you up about the other things! Time for a pester request!

jealousBeauty [JB] started pestering sicklySpider [SS]

JB: Yamame! What are you doing now?! I still don’t know what is going on with anything this game has!!!!
JB: >:[
SS: I know, I know! sorry about that Parsee. *sorry bow* To help you out, the Alchemiter is in your back porch, that’s the thing you and Ira will need to use when the Cruxtruder unlocks and you guys get this cyclinder things call Totems! speaking of, that’s the thing in the middle of the room, you guys need something heavy to open it!

You raise your eyebrow. Something heavy? You turn to your sister. “Hey, Ira! Do you have something heavy in your room? Yamame said we need something heavy to open the Cruxtruder.”

“Oh yeah! I think I have some weights I borrowed from Yuugi a while ago.” Ira replies as she hurries off to go get them.

SS: Oh yeah, Parsee! Once you get that thing open, I want you guys to take your totems and go to the back porch since I’ll put the Totem Lathe which will carve your totems for the game! Oh and there will be cards next to the Lathe! You each get one!
JB: Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.

Just then, your sister comes back with the weights. “Alright now what?” She asks.
“I guess just drop them on the thing. I’ll turn this wheel over on this side.” You reply calmly as you walk over to the machine. Ira drops the weights on the top of the machine and instantly, the weights fly off crashing into the window, probably in the back yard.

---[Ira]---

You are now Ira who is in disbelief over what just happened which was when weights decided to fly.

RD: Yamame?
SS: Yessssssss?
RD: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! THE MACHINE THREW THE WEIGHTS THROUGH THE WINDOW!
SS: I saw! yeah, the machine does with everyone i guess. anyway you guys should head out....like N-O-W!
RD: Huh?
SS: JUST HEAD OUT TO THE BACK PORCH PLEASEEEEEEEE!

---[Parsee]---

Suddenly Parsee again. It’s like the author is struggling with typing like this with two characters or something. It’s going to confuse the readers jfc. You finished turning the wheel and look up to see two orbs come out of the Cruxtruder, one green and the other red. Then two very tall and fat cylinders then, these must be the Totems Yamame was talking about.

“Parsee! Yamame said hurry to the back porch!”

“Yes, Ira, whatever. Oh and this is yours, a Totem is what it’s called from Yamame’s info.” You say as you hand Ira the red one.

She catches it in her hands and smiles at you. “Come on now Parsee, Let’s do a game! I wonder why Yamame sounded so panicking in her message.” She wonders as she walks off with you.

---[Yamame]---

You are now Yamame and you are going to split in half. The timer said 1:10

1:10

Not 8:08 like yours. 1 FUCKING 10. A MINUTE AND TEN SECONDS. S-O D-O-N-E.

You try to calm yourself down, I mean look! They both managed to get outside and are carving their totems now! Well that’s good! Plus Kisumebot deployed the Punch Designx for you so now you can alchemize things for your benefit. You lay down and stare upwards at the sky, the lone yellow portal in the air and smile. This is going to be a fun game.

---[Parsee]---

THIS IS NOT A FUN GAME. You and Ira finished your Totems only to see a freakin meteorite heading towards your house! What was this game? Some sort of psychopathic destruction of the world or something like that!

“Parsee! Put your totem with mine on the-”

“on the Alchemiter yes Ira!” You snap. Okay, you didn’t mean to snap at your sister but when you are under pressure you are terrible at emotions.

0:05
You then put yours next to hers and the machine starts to scan them both.

0:04

The machine finishes scanning them and they turn into havles of a heart. What? What does that even mean? Isn’t that for couples?!

0:03

Wait...Are we supposed to..

“Ira! Take your half and I’ll take mine an-”

“Way ahead of you Sis.”

“Ahahaha.”

0:02

The meteor comes closer and closer to your house, the air becoming hotter and hotter. God, Parsee thought. Meteors are too hot for comfort man.

0:01
“So...”

“Let’s do this!”

The two take both of their pieces and merge it into one heart which in turn causes a huge flash to happen and the entire house is gone, replaced by a huge crater.

0:00

---[Yamame]---

You jump into the air while pumping a fist. Yes! They made in the Medium! And just in the nick of time too! While Parsee and Ira entering the Medium is good, you can’t help but worried about Kisume. Kisumebot said that she would be alright but... you can’t but feel worried for your best friend.

[Metroid Life]

Ah, a new chapter, excellent... and why doesn't Kisumebot actually do anything to help Kisume? I guess it could be because they'd just break her, but I can't really know that from the text... and I gonna say, Yamame's taking her friend getting lethally attacked pretty well... though I guess there's not a lot she or anyone else can do about it... hope Kisume's gonna be ok... that, and I hope the bullies eaten by Metroids, or hit by a meteor, or something! Stupid humans...

[kokoroandherkokoro]

Yep, Kisumebot is actually built to do commands when Kisume's in trouble which means she's like a stand-in Kisume (I based on her on Dirk's Auto Responder so that's mainly why). Yamame is secretly freaking out inside, she's just trying to keep her cool down so that she can play the game and help Parsee and Ira enter the Medium in time!

Oh and don't worry, they'll be hit by something alright *waggles eyebrows*. Kisume's outcome will come to light when her chapter comes up so that's after Yuugi, Satori, Orin, Okuu. 

Also Homestuck typing style is very lack lustered when it comes to detail, I think I'll probably switch when everyone enters the Medium and to their planets. Anyway I'm glad you actually like my story! 0w0

[kokoroandherkokoro]

HERE'S HOSHIGUMAAAAAA~! */shot 
But yeah new chapter! Yuugi's this time! Also I don't regret Kyoinemspirite. Nope, not at all. I need to know how that sprite will look like anyway. 

But onward! 

---

We are not going to be Kisume because Yamame is worried about her. That’ll come later. Instead, we’re going a different girl: A girl with long, unkempt, blonde hair. The girl known as Yuugi Hoshiguma. Today, you’re playing Sburb with your friends and you’re pretty psyched for it. Wait, do people even use psyched anymore? Aw who gives a fuck.



“Yah!” You scream out as you charge through the door, breaking it and knocking it slightly off it’s hinges. “No door is a match for Yuugi the Strong!”



Okay so maybe you’re a bit nutty but to be honest, this is only when you want to have fun and when you drink. Speaking of drinking, it has been awhile since the last drink you had. You guess that it wouldn’t be bad to have a sip while you play this game.



You hop into the swivel chair and begin spinning around, grabbing the glass on your computer desk and pouring some fresh alcohol in it and then you stop, not a drop of it spilling. You were always good at balancing acts, actually anything that involved strength. Alright time to see if Parsee or Ira’s up.



drunkenOni [DO] started pestering jealousBeauty [JB]



DO: yo parsee!

DO: u there?

JB: Oh hey Yuugi, let me guess you’re drunk like always.

DO: hey! Meme needs her milk

DO:*mama

JB: :T

JB: Whatever. I’m your server for this game while Ira watches out for stuff.

DO: speaking of the game, have you guys seen any things camped imps

DO: *called

JB: Imps? No why?

DO: yamame. We chatted for awhile before I went to go do my daily jog. She said asfter she put her dead rat into this sphere thingy, imps started coming around and attacking her.

DO: *after

JB: I don’t want to know, let’s just get this game started

DO: but gurl, yamame is our friend. We should at least check up on here ans stug.

DO: *and

DO: *stuff

JB: -_-

JB: Fine. You put your disc in and pester either me or Ira when it’s finished. I’ll check up on Yamame.

DO: sounds like a plan!



drunkenOni stopped pestering jealousBeauty



As of Parsee’s orders, you placed the disc in your computer and watch it load as you sip some more of your drink. You know she's probably only said that to speed the game along, Parsee had some sort of unnatural bitterness towards Yamame, probably because of she's overly happy and she's bitter and grumpy.



A sigh escapes out of your lips. Yamame is probably doing something stupid in a costume right now.



---[Yamame]---



You are now Yamame not a stupid costume yet. Prior to this moment, you were getting tired of the orb just floating around everywhere so you asked Kisumebot to place your dearly departed weasel Measles in the yellow thing to stop it’s constant floating and then the imps changed and start going after you again. Yesh talk about one track minds.



You’re now in your room which is barracked by large lumber at the door to keep them from coming in. You run over to your computer and check up on your pesterchum.



jealousBeauty [JB] started pestering sicklySpider [SS]



JB: Yamame. Yuugi said that I should check up on you and stuff so how are you?

SS: I'm fine parsee...sorta. The imps are being a pain and I think I'm going to be over run by them eventually but i'm going to try to defend the home fort!

JB: Good for you. Anyway you need to serve us before you get to those imps so hop it.



JealousBeauty [JB] ceased pestering sicklySpider [SS]



Ever cheerful as always Parsee. But she does have a point; they're stuck in that same bleak world and you have to help them get to the gate like Kisumebot's doing with you! Speaking of your robot friend, she left you the Punch Designx so it'll be good to alchemize some things sooner or later since this outfit and your tool box won't cut it later on. Plus you need to find your sprite. And help Parsee and Ira.



---[Ira]---

You are now Ira. You and your sister are taking turns watching the rooms of the house in case of these imps Yamame was talking about. However none have shown up in your patrol. Probably because they're scared of you which is good and bad.



Anyway, your task is help Yuugi deploy her stuff for the game. I guess she'll take the end result pretty well maybe.



To start things off, you have to tell her.



ragingDragons [RD] started pestering drunkenOni [DO]



RD: Yuugi! You're there?

DO: eyy ira. Guessin your my serber?

DO: *you're

DO: *server

RD: Yeah pretty much. I'm going to deploy all of the same shit Yamame did with us.

DO: cool beans though I hoep this game will be as exciting as the rumors madek it out to be.

DO: *hope

DO: *made

RD: Don't worry. It's a surprise, I'll tell ya that.



Alright she's notified, now for deploying stuff. Yuugi actually lives in an apartment complex not far from you and Parsee which is good since she's your go-to sparring partner and overall friend. You know this place up and down.



You start by placing the Cruxtruder inside of Yuugi's room where she's at. The closer to her the better. The Alchemiter can go...You know! The top of the apartment. Good thing Yuugi lives on the top.



After hearing the clunk of the object, you move onward to the next thing: The Totem Lathe. With a quick click of your mouse, you move to the bathroom and…shit, it's crowded with things. Your eyes move to the bathtub which took up the perfect amount for the Lathe. With a jerk, the bathtub is gone. Adios you piece of fine marble.



DO: whoa, whoa, whoa!!!! im sitting here with this bug blocky thing and then i hear a loud craching sound. mind explaining?

DO: *big

DO: *crashing

RD: Right, well it's for the game alright? Don't so angry ok?

DO: you're the last person to say that.

RD: Haha. Now I'm using it to open the Cruxtruder.

You move the bathtub to Yuugi's room to which she decides to give an annoyed but intrigued look. You give the bathtub a jerk to the top of the machine and instantly flies out of your cursor, flying back into the wall and crashing into one of the walls, and sinking down to the ground.



DO: ...

DO: smooth moves you got there

RD: Zip it. Now hurry up and get your stuff together before a meteor coming flying your way! You got like 3:13 on the clock! Oh and here's a card for the Lathe.



You drop the card beside Yuugi who picks up. Now it's all up to her now.



---[Yuugi]---



You are now Yuugi. 3 minutes and 13 seconds huh? You can make this before that meteor blows you up. You turn to see a tall and fat magenta-colored cylinder along with a floating orb, the same color. Okay first let's deal with that orb. Unknown by your friends maybe, you actually read up on this game as you want to make sure you have all of the facts first before you do anything.



You walk out of your room and go to the living room where you hold any figurines that your friend Kisume gets you from her traveling parents. It was actually Kisume who got you into one of your interests. What is that interest? Rap music. Call you crazy but you're a fan of the genre. One of your absolute favorite rappers have to be Eminem; hey, he's a good rapper after all and who knew there was a figurine of him?



Your next interest is magical girls. Intense as hell battles, completely awesome and cute outfits, backstories and female empowerment? YES PLEASE. Your favorite magical girl has to be Kyouko Sakura from Puella Magi. Homegirl is just too epic to not be considered awesome plus her lance is hella sweet. You take both figurines and run back to your room and throw both of them into the orb, causing a large white flash to happen.



…...!



“What the living shit?”



You open your eyes and see the result: Kyoinemsprite! Or would it be Marshall Sakura? Why the fuck does it even matter, you have a Puella Magi Rapper in all of this magenta colored goodness! Now about that Lathe…



“What the hell happened to the wall?”



“Umm...My friend sorta broke it.”



Your sprite turns to you, an unimpressed look on their face. “Don’t trust that friend.”



You sigh. “I think I can trust Ira, it was a mere accident I guess.”



Taking the Totem that sprang out of the machine, you run over to the bathroom and behold the Totem Lathe!



...In the same place where your bathtub used to be. Incredible.



You place the Totem in the machine along with the card and the machine starts the process. After waiting a while, your Totem is done and you quickly lass scamper out of your apartment door and quickly up the staircase to the top of the complex where the Alchemiter is all ready.



0:05



You take the Totem and quickly scan it on the Alechemiter.



0:04



It turns into...a magenta-colored bottle? An empty one at that. But why would you need a bottle?



0:03



Wow that meteor is getting closer and closer, isn’t it? Aha! The bottle! The solution is to destroy it!



0:02



Destroying is easy for someone of your strength! With a large swing, you throw the bottle downward causing it to shatter into pieces. Suddenly a large bright white flash happens and Yuugi’s apartment is overtaken by it, having been replaced with a meteor.



0:01



0:00



Yuugi Hoshiguma has entered the Medium. Only 5 more to go!